Throwback to 2015-03-04. Moodboards

I think moodboards were popular when I was in middle school. To make a moodboard you have to have a certain picture editing program (I use photoshop) and some random pictures. Then you just throw all the stuff that is relevant to you at that time in one collage and boom, you're done. For me moodboard making naturally developed into a form of procrastination that I enjoy a lot.

I got ill today and while wasting my time on the Internet, I remembered Tavi Genvinson's blog The Style Rookie and her internet magazine Rookie Mag (although three issues are released in reality and I'm more than hopeful to get my hands on them one day). I was really into her work when I was in my freshman and sophmore years but after a while I kind of forgot about it. And that was a huge mistake, because everything that's written in Rookie is life changing. You won't understand until you check it, so I strongly suggest you to do it. It helped me to form as a person, to learn more about myself and what I want to be and how to don't care what others think. Rookie vibes, as I like to call it, are about glitter, feminism, flower crowns, journals, doodles, strange outfits, old films and encouraging you to do whatever you want. Rookie is just... I don't even know. Something magical, I could say. I can't express my love for it enough. And I appreciate everything that Tavi has done very deeply. I think you'll hear / see Rookie vibes on this blog more often from now on. I want to make my writing more personal, not only about makeup, although it takes an important part in my life and here.

Back to the moodbards, well, they truly reflect every single detail that I care about nowadays. Not without a reason you can see Wednesday here, as I feel very anxious, angry, miserable and frustrated lately. It seems that emotions are boiling inside me. I have been quite lonely these past few months. My boyfriend is a medical student and he has a pile of work and is busy all the time. I have one friend in school, who we talk with occasionally and another one, who's living in a different city, so we're just chatting loads. But I don't know I still don't tell anyone how I truly feel and that nags me from inside. No one really understands and as the purple heart says, "I am surrounded by idiots". Maybe that's why I'm writing everything here and don't stop rambling. I don't even know if anyone is reading at this point. If you are, thanks. Sometimes it's good to have a blog. It's always good, actually.

Sometimes I think that I would be fine with having no goals and just moving to LA or NY, working as a waitress, photographing stuff, traveling and living my life like that. No worries, no big ambitions, just a constant admiration of the world. Maybe I would stick glitter on my face and wear sunglasses in mid January, who knows. I'm a really rad and strange person and I feel as if I can't express my imagination and creativity with full potential, because there's no equipment, right time or time in general. A bubble of shit, you'd say? I'd agree on some point, but sometimes excuses are accurate. We live in a world in which everyone hurries and so do I. And somehow we still manage to not do our work in time, isn't it ironic.

I don't know what's happening with me now and why this post is getting so long and why I'm getting so personal. I usually get emotional about 3 a.m. or something (yes, I'm a dedicated night owl) but maybe it's due to my illness. I'm not going to school tomorrow, so I guess I'll watch The Virgin Suicides for the 20th time (I literally saw it that many times) and experiment with makeup. Or lie on the floor and read old Vogues and dream about a white fur coat which I want since I saw it on Suzie. I would also like to have a record player and some Arctic Monkeys records, but oh well, life is unfair, so I'll just listen to Lana Del Rey playlists. I think I'm gonna end my ramblings here, because otherwise it could go forever. Goodnight, sweeties.